The other night I came across this YouTube video that breaks down seven weird things our brains do every single day. Stuff like why you can’t remember anything from before you were about four years old, why one person yawning makes everyone around them start yawning too, or that annoying moment when you walk through a doorway and completely forget what you were about to do. It was equal parts fascinating and kind of creepy.
I ended up thinking about it way too much and before I knew it I was scribbling lyrics at 2 in the morning. The idea that our brains are basically running some glitchy beta version of human software really stuck with me. All those weird little bugs and workarounds we never patched. That mix of wonder and low-key existential dread turned into the song Glitch Protocol. We tried to capture that late-night “what even is reality” feeling with big choruses and that paranoid vibe about the whole simulation possibly breaking down right in front of us. Turns out the scariest glitches aren’t the ones in the code. They’re the ones that keep us running.
So I woke up one morning and the coffee wasn’t where it’s supposed to be.
That tiny little thing threw me off. The mirror looked normal, the room was still a disaster, but something in the air just felt… off. Like I had accidentally slipped into a different version of reality.
That weird feeling turned into the song “Wrong Sim Coffee Stain.”
It’s basically about spending a full random day in an alternate timeline where a bunch of stuff is better. Jim Henson is still alive and he and his son have been making amazing stuff together for the last 40 years. Jimi Hendrix joined the Beatles back in 1973. Hollywood isn’t constantly spitting out remakes and reboots. Electricity is free. People gave up on politicians a long time ago and finally stopped falling for the same old games. No more screaming at each other online. Just regular humans talking again.
At first it feels like the best dream ever. But then you start thinking… what if I go to sleep tonight and snap back to my normal messy timeline?
Then comes the twist that hits you in the chest.
This “better” timeline was missing one important thing: my dog Stella wasn’t there. No morning zoomies, no wet nose in my face, no little collar bells ringing around the house. That one missing piece made me realize how much I’d actually miss all the imperfect stuff from my real life.
The song ends the next morning when I wake up back in my own timeline. Same coffee spot, same messy room, same chaos. And honestly? I felt grateful. The mess, the thorns, the chaos… it’s all part of what makes it home.
Good girl, Stella.
I wanted the song to have that dense, wordy Aesop Rock kind of feel. The 5th version Suno spit out somehow nailed it. There’s even this perfect little moment where the beat snaps back right when the lyrics say “snap back.” I thought it was a glitch at first, but it ended up being my favorite part.
This one feels different to me. It started as a silly “what if” idea but turned into something that actually made me think about my own life. All the stuff I complain about, the daily chaos, and the little things (like my dog) that make it worth it.
If you’ve ever wondered what it would feel like to wake up in a slightly better world and then realize you’d still miss your own mess… give this one a listen.
The lyrics
Woke up in the wrong simulation today Coffee wasn’t in the same place Mirror still showed the same face Room still a low-rent disgrace But the air tasted like alternate grace Puppet strings humming in 4/4 time Electricity free-flowing no meter no crime You know it’s not a dream but damn if it don’t feel like one Close your eyes tonight might snap back to the one you’re attached to son
Woke up in the wrong simulation today You know it’s not a dream but damn
Alarm clock buzzes but the numbers glitch soft Step into the kitchen pot’s on the wrong shelf scoff Same scarred mug same burnt toast edge But outside the window the world’s rewritten its pledge Jim Henson still breathing creaking joints in the shop Him and his son been cooking masterpieces non-stop Forty years of felt and foam labyrinths deeper than Oz No corporate reboot vultures picking the bones just raw Muppets evolved not rebooted to death Screens full of original breath no sequel fatigue theft Jimi Hendrix slid into the Beatles in ’73 Purple haze over Abbey Road feedback symphony Imagine the riffs that never got to be now they did Stratocaster screaming while Paul grins like a kid Hollywood half-asleep on fresh scripts not recycling trash No more “part seventeen: the origin of cash” Power lines hum free no bill in the mail Just wild current dancing no corporate jail
Woke up in the wrong simulation today You know it’s not a dream but damn
Wander the streets folks ain’t glued to the feed Gave up on politicians decades ago planted new seed Pulled the wool clean off eyes wide like owls at noon No more red team blue team cartoon They laugh about the old game like a bad acid trip “Remember when we voted for clowns on a sinking ship?” No rage-scrolling no tribal war paint Just humans talking coffee stains on the quaint Feels like a fever dream stitched from better cloth But the seams hold ain’t waking up in the slop I came from not yet Heartbeat steady but that worry gnaws the edge What if tonight the timeline tugs the thread Snap back to the noise the endless remake parade The paid-for power the puppet masters unmade Spend the day floating tasting the upgrade Henson’s new worlds unfolding on every stage
Don’t wanna talk about it don’t wanna jinx the shift But this timeline’s missing pieces that make my ribs lift Here it’s too smooth too bright too resolved Like a painting without the brushstrokes that evolved I’d miss the grind that made the wins taste sharp The chaotic spark that lit my particular dark
Sun dips low chasing shadows through free-watt glow Jimi’s ghost riff still echoing from some basement show Henson’s workshop light still burning past midnight Son and father trading ideas in the soft delight People walk past no signs no slogans just alive Wool long gone no more collective hive Crawl into bed same disgrace of a room Close my eyes and pray the simulation don’t zoom Next morning light hits different familiar stain on the wall Coffee’s back in its spot mirror shows the same scrawl This timeline I woke in had magic I can’t pack But mine’s got the thorns that keep the roses intact No frantic paws across the floor when I stir No wet nose in my face no collar bells that whir Stella wasn’t there my good girl my mess of fur and heart The one thing this polished world tore clean apart Gonna be okay that I can’t have it both ways stitched Much love to everyone there in that glitch Grateful for the day I slipped through the seam Now back in my chaos chasing my own weird dream It was never a dream but it felt like the best kind Good girl Stella
Woke up in the wrong simulation today But tomorrow’s the right one or close enough anyway Much love to the other side Keep the puppets dancing Electricity free in your own way
You can listen now. The lyrics should show up in a few days. I’m not really sure why it’s tagged as explicit. Maybe it’s too taboo of a topic. Or maybe I’m not sure what words are bad and which ones aren’t.
I already posted the lyric video already, but here it is again, just in case you missed it.
